It's Giamatti and Clooney battling for Best Supporting Porcine Schlub

Phoebe's latest Oscar predix column is hilarious and spot-on, correctly predicting that the race for Supporting Actor is between George Clooney playing a fat important person in Syriana and Paul Giamatti in Cinderella Man, doing penance for not attracting voters to notice his performances in American Splendor and Sideways.

But her Jake Gyllenhaal swooning has just the right fangirl gush mitigated by tough criticism (for which I take full credit. At our last meeting, over many drinks, I extolled Gyllenhaal's greatness in Brokeback, and I finally felt as if I found someone who understood how terrific you can act in spite of an awful fake mustache).