For your pleasure, vol. 1

If I believed in God, I'd thank him for these tunes; and ask him to help my readers find them:

The Mekons, "Only Darkness Has The Power" (1989)

Singer-guitarist Tom Greenhalgh spends the night in bed with his girlfriend. When morning comes, he's afraid to leave, for reasons he's too frightened to articulate. "I'm not going to explain myself, it's not that important to me," he says, the tremor in his voice quite audible through a skein of ugly guitars. Of course, articulating fear and rage is exactly what one expects from these members of the class of '77; this is the only song in which punks admit their mission's impossibility – and it comes 12 years too late. "Do you trust me to tell the truth? Do you trust me?" Greenhalgh croons, before the chorus circles him once more, and the ugly guitars scare him under the covers again.

Madonna, "Gambler" (1985)

Little-known gem, eclipsed by the success of "Crazy For You" on the otherwise forgettable Vision Quest soundtrack. This is Madonna at her most slatternly, her lower register drawing strength from the synthesizer and drum machines making an unholy racket. It's also more convincing pseudo-satire than "Material Girl." Only Shakira could get away with this today (and kinda does, on "Don't Bother"). Why haven't any of Maddie's umpteenth compilations ever included this? Because she doesn't want to show Lourdes her dirty panties.

Karyn White, "Romantic" (1991)

Another obscurity, "Romantic" was the biggest hit for Karyn White, going to #1 on the Hot 100 in the fall of '91. Before "Romantic" she scored three top 10's, none of which get much airplay anymore except on urban quiet-storm stations ("Superwoman," "Secret Rendezvous," and "The Way You Love Me"). Like fellow neglected late '80s/early '90s R&B songstress Jody Watley, White was at her best when she eschewed self-expression and allowed producers to set her innocuous voice in a boisterous setting -- in this case a Jimmy Jam-Terry Lewis song and production stitched from Alexander O'Neal and Janet leftovers. One of the last new jack swing hits before the Top 40's acclimitization to hip-hop sent every diva except Mary J. Blige and Mariah Carey to the clearance bin.

Kelly Osbourne, "One Word"

Here's the reason why this song and Visage's "Fade To Grey" -- the piece from which it draws its chords, melody, and Old Europe here-by-the-Seine vibe -- flopped in the States. We Yanks have zero patience for anomic limeys with asymmetrical eyeshadow playing synthesizers and quasi-limeys with asymmetrical eyeshadow playing with our notions of what respectable celebrities do.