Exit, stage left

This is why I love The Onion:

'I'm pleased to announce that the Department of Defense and I have formulated a plan for a speedy withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq,' Bush announced Monday morning. 'We'll just go through Iran.'

Bush said the U.S. Army, which deposed Iran's longtime enemy Saddam Hussein, should be welcomed with open arms by the Islamic-fundamentalist state.

'And Iran's so nearby,' Bush said. 'It's only a hop, skip, and a jump to the east.'

Sad thing is, I could see him saying something like this. Or, like this.