Of "American Idol" and its discontents

Scott Woods dismisses Jody Rosen's claim that "American Idol" has been "good for popular music -- an assertion that forced me to blink blankly like the "South Park" kids at school. Sure, you get classic flukes like Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone"; the trouble is, none of the ballads she wraps those bold pipes around aren't even pasable Bacharach-Sager (And don't get me started on Toni Braxton and Prince's appearances last night. Performing on TV's most popular variety show gives your sales a kick in the ass). AI winners are as carefully scripted as extras in a musical. But is there room for anything weird? Nay, Hicks writes:

I can't imagine Missy Elliott even getting through the first round of "American Idol." I can't imagine Madonna in 1982 getting through the first round ("You clearly have no ability to sing--and that wardrobe is hideous"). Or M.I.A. Or Pink. Or Courtney Love. Or Annie Lennox. Or (heh) Neil Tennant. (The equation becomes beyond absurd, of course, if you start predating MTV: "Sorry, Mr. Fagen, you'll need to comb your hair and wipe that permanent scowl off your face.")

Of course, inquiring minds want to know how well this Taylor Hicks cat did.