"I was dreaming while I drove the long straight road ahead"

The voice of one of my favorite singers (top five, at the very least) suits Mantovani melodrama, not Mozartian delicacy. This is why Roy Orbison needed to write or co-write most of his material. The only composer approximating "Crying," "In Dreams," "Only the Lonely," and "It's Over" was Phil Spector and, frankly, it's a proposed marriage whose compability works only on paper – like pairing two pieces of aged pork like Richard Burton and Liz Taylor, say.

Buying candles and Quaker Oats at my neighborhood supermarket yesterday afternoon I was surprised enough to hear Orbison's "I Drove All Night" to thrust my crotch at a pyramid of Hunt's Tomato Paste. His cover of Cyndi Lauper's Top 10 hit from 1989 – neo-rockibilly Wilburyed by Jeff Lynne – is the sunlit equivalent to the nocturnal masturbatory tango "In Dreams," with Orbison's running-scared tremulousness echoed by overzealous snare work (the song was recorded in the early '90s) and yummy guitar twang. Celine Dion's aerobic cover is no pox.

Even the video is a yumfest: Their creepy good looks suiting the song's overripe escapism, Jason Priestley and Jennifer Connelly, at the peak of their youthful magnetism, are illumined like a Calvin Klein. Keep tasting those sweet kisses: one or both of them seem aware that they're isn't much time. Jason is needed at a Barenaked Ladies shoot in a few years.

PS: I should really rank the best Steinberg-Kelly songs. How would you? Place these in order of greatness: "Like a Virgin," "Alone," "Sex as a Weapon," "True Colors," "In Your Room," "Eternal Flame," and "I Touch Myself" (their long collaboration with Chrissie Hynde is another issue; I agree with Christgau that, despite the credits, she's the auteur).