Taking Sides: Low vs Thriller

I haven't yet met anyone who's too excited about Justin's "Sexyback" -- "bringing sexy back from where?" is one typical complaint. At present it's next to impossible for Justin to be the beneficiary of the critical redress which turned "Like I Love You" and "Rock Your Body" into pop masterpieces. To his credit he seems aware of his position and, employing the canny instinct for marketplace vibrations he acquired as a former Mouseketeer scion, is dropping all the right references ("The best way I can describe that song is say David Bowie and David Byrne decided to do a cover of James Brown's `Sex Machine," Justin helpfully explained). However he is, bless him, bringing nasty back -- by insulting Taylor Hicks (and recanting, or so his publicist claims).

On to the song. Since Timbo can assemble an arresting backbeat from an air conditioner compressor and a jar of Peter Pan peanut butter, the question is whether the blond moppet can work it. In this summer dominated by "Promiscuous," in which the formally coy Ms. Furtado gets hopped up after a couple of sour-apple martinis, Justin's got his work cut out for him. As Andre 3000 discovered on The Love Below's "Dracula's Castle," burying a wan falsetto in distortion will fool your fans into thinking you've been listening to Bone Machine-era Tom Waits; and, indeed, "Sexyback"'s quasi-demo spareness could have supported Gary Lucas or Latin Playboys-inspired guitar blurts. Could have. Justin's gotta know this won't stay in the Top Ten very long -- if it makes it. If he's got a Low or Fear of Music in him, now's the time to unleash it, cuz Thriller simply ain't enough anymore.