Choose Your Own Mini Festival

French movies have become as genre friendly as their American counterparts; what they haven't grasped (and have abstained from grasping) in mass satisfaction they've made up for in obsessive visits to the same topical corners. Below are a few recent notables that you can string together into a mini festival of "French Character Studies That Subtly Tackle Colonialistic Fears through Neo Noir/ Existential Crime Narratives and are Centered Around Way-Too-Young Girls, Arab Immigrants, and Middle Aged Intellectual Sad-Sacks."

Trust me, look these movies up, and you will see a pattern.

LILA SAYS


One look at that cover and you know you're in for an intense examination of France's Arab ghettos. And soon as you learn the main actress' name is Vahina Gioccante, you can't help but assume that you're about to watch a slow study of immigrant alienation. You won't be dissapointed.

I hate the people who design DVD covers. And who names their child Vahina anyway?

A TOUT DE SUITE



Another sexy blond girl, another immigrant boy (Moroccan), another sad denouement. Benoit Jacquot is a very good director, and the two leads in this movie have unforgettable faces. Very recommended.

13 TZAMETI


A character who is, for all intents and purposes, the same immigrant boy from the previous two pictures, is caught in an existentialist nightmare that helps us segue into:

LA MOUSTACHE

Maybe the solution to France's problems lies in surrendering to its colonial past,
Which it cannot hide.

CACHE


I've been a fan of Michael Haneke's work ever since "Funny Games"; (I was the nerd going like: "Dude, you must have your mind blown by THIS.") Daniel Aueteuil and Juliette Binoche are French movie royalty so whenever they meet there's something to be seen. (They are the lesser avatars of Gerard Depardieu and Catherine Deneuve, who meet in "Changing Times" which I still haven't seen but judging by Alfred's review would be a crown jewel at this Mini Festival.)